Wednesday, February 29, 2012

From Thailand to Tanzania: The Final Descent

It all started at the airport. We arrived 3 hours early like we were instructed online. Funny story, there are already Africans in line, but with 10-15 bags a piece. Not exaggerating. They weren't small bags either. What was in them we will never know, but as anyone can imagine, it makes for a long time in the line to check-in with obstacles such as those. Thelma decided the night before that we were going to upgrade to business class because it was only $300 more per person at check-in. No problem right? Wrong. It turns out that in order to upgrade, you have to see someone else at a counter on the other side of the aisle that's not marked. We learned this after we waited in line behind the Africans with 15 bags a piece. Awesome.

After waiting in lines and wading through the confusion, an hour later we had to go through the immigration system. Oh boy! There were at least a thousand people trying to do the same thing. Not exaggerating. Fortunately for us, with  our newly upgraded tickets, we were granted access to the premium immigration line, so we didn't have to wait long. Additionally, at the immigration counter, the officers did not collect the premium passes used to gain access to the short line. We hope sneak them through when we leave at the end of May. My fingers are crossed. :-)

Next, we board our flight on Ethiopian Air. Business Class is super nice right? Well...not on Ethiopian Air's plane from 1980. There was plenty of leg room, but the seats were old and just as narrow as economy seats. Yes, they did recline and had leg rests, but my butt still went numb and I actually slept less. It was real awesome. However, the service was great, a little too great. After dinner, comes dessert. There's baked goods galore and a wide assortment of cheeses. I asked what one of the desserts (still don't know) and when I asked for the cheesecake, I just given both. Just what my fat american butt needs in a seat that is already tight with a seat belt that was cutting off circulation to my lower limbs, but I digress. Then, Thelma and I asked for some of the cheese. We just wanted a little of this and a little of that. Nope! We ended up with a lot of everything. Huge chunks of Blue Cheese, Gouda, Brie, another one that was real good but we couldn't identify. We had so much we couldn't finish. Once again, this was real good for two fat American's that can barely buckle their seat belts as is. Awesome. Oh, by the way, the African's on board are no different than any of the others. No deodorant. So Awesome.

Then, reality check. We land in Addis Ababa. Although its the global hub for Ethiopian Airlines, it left much to be desired. First, Thelma and I had to disembark on the tarmac. Nothing too unusual. Then, we had to wait for a bus to take us to terminal 1 with the noxious polluted air burning our nostrils while we waited. Off to terminal 1 we went, only to Thelma's dismay to find toilets without seats and to my dismay, stall doors that  don't stay closed. Real Awesome. Finally settled, we found ourselves with a crappy cafe, a couple kiosks of cheap African trinkets, and a small duty free store with high end perfume. Really? Yes. Then, we take our malaria prophylaxis, Thelma got sick from it so I had to buy us a crappy $8 club sandwich and fries to help settle her stomach. Surprise, a club sandwich is a nasty mayo soaked mashed up salad of things I could not identify. Thelma and I shared the fries and I risked my GI tract by trying a wedge of the sandwich. We deserted the rest and I thankfully never got sick.

As great as Addis Ababa was, we were happy to see that it was time to go through security and head for our gate. Sadly, we were not too impressed by the quickly warming room of a 200 people gathering for a flight still an hour and forty minutes prior to boarding. Did I mention there were 50 seats in said room? Awesome. Things did improve though. While waiting, we met 2 Swedish nursing students (Anna and Ulrika) that were also going to Kilimanjaro. Just when we thought things couldn't get any worse, we boarded the plane. Again, from 1985 with tube television screens that had the worst color imaginable. The TVs were hardly bad compared to the seats however. There was less space in the economy seats than even the worse American airline. Gotta love Ethiopian Airlines. NOT!!!! Over the next two hours, my back was kicked by a little European brat. Thelma was hit in the head by the same little girl twice. The mother did nothing. Awesome. Then, after crossing 16 times zones over almost 6 days of travel, both of us exhausted with borderline pressure ulcers on our behinds, we made the final descent into Arusha with Mt. Kilimanjaro just outside the window. It was truly amazing.

I will post more pictures when I get better internet. I will explain that issue as well later.




Saturday, February 25, 2012

The Year of the Dragon

The horrid LAX terminal
Yesterday/today/tomorrow we trek to Bangkok. It all started in LA with a full day of rest and pizza. Then, we proceeded to lug our 200lbs of crap back to LAX via the big blue shuttle. Thelma then went to apprehend another SmarteCart, when a man tried to sell her one for $5. She denied his request and quickly scurried off to help Louise once again battle the bags. Following the epic battle, we wandered aimlessly to the check-in desk, because of course there was no overhead sign for our airline EVA; however, every other airline in the world has a nice big sign. Awesome.

We made a friend at Gate C7.

Following security inspection, we found ourselves in the worst international terminal in America. 10,000 people, 85 degrees, 1 tiny bar/restaurant, 1 news stand, and another best buy kiosk. Needless to say, we found ourselves sweating, thirsty, and in need of new headphones. Finally, at the gate, we realized no one spoke hardly any English and there were about 10 different poorly labeled lines for boarding. So, we walked up to a guy, said "Elite" and he pointed us towards bus 55 which apparently made us the absolute first of 318 passengers to board.  Actually Awesome.



Hoping her wishes come true
The flight was completely uneventful and surprisingly comfortable despite my seat back that wouldn't stay in the upright position. However, our lives are never simple. Following our 15 hour flight, we arrived in the worlds longest hallway only to be herded into another security checkpoint, catching us completely off guard. Surprise, we both get flagged in security. Thelma had grooming scissors and I had a bottle of water, both of which are now Taiwan's property. After finding food (what we ate we are not sure), we ran into a Year of the Dragon wish writing stand. We wished for success, prosperity, and love.
Dragons tend to bite.

Our EVA air plane









After a short 4 hour jump to Bangkok, we found ourselves in the HUGE Suvarnabhumi Airport.  We walked for what was probably 2 miles and joined the hoards of people in line for entry into the country.  We jumped into the shortest queue.  Surprise! - Our line had the slowest immigration official ever!  The other immigration officers were processing 3 travelers in the time it took ours to process 1.  Awesome.  After waiting forever in immigration, we lugged our bags to find our ride to the hotel.
Mariya Boutique Hotel



Good food, rest, and relaxation to come!













Thursday, February 23, 2012

Operation LAX: Complete

Thelma and I made it to the LAX Holiday Inn, but of course there is a story.

Louise's Farewell Entourage
(Dad & Grandmother)

First, my flight from Indy was delayed because some Teenie Bopper and her friends were late getting to the airport. With only a few seats left on the plane, who does she sit by you ask? Me of course!! She persisted to call her friend Maddie's name incessantly for the first 20 mins of the flight with no response. Awesome. 

Arrive in Kansas City to find Thelma and her mom. We were able to spend some time together because "oh wait!" our flight was delayed for an hour. Awesome. Board the plane flight goes well until my Kindle bit the dust. Awesome. 

Thelma and Louise unite at last.
 We didn't know the two behind us. 
Land in LAX. Buy a new Kindle at the Best Buy self-serve machine. Then, we head to baggage claim. This is the first time that Thelma and I have to manage all 8 of our bags at once. Okay, sure, we just get a SmarteCarte right? Yea, but they aren't that big, but we figure we can make it work. We collect our bags, load the cart, and head for the hotel shuttle. Suprise! My 50lbs duffle and Thelma's 35lbs backpack roll off the front of the cart in the main doorway out of the baggage claim.  Don't worry - the automatic doors were inches from closing on the backpack.  And of course, there was a fat lady on a bench laughing at us. Awesome. Then, after failing several attempts to re-stack the bags, Thelma decided to just throw her's over her shoulder. Bad idea, the strap cuts into her neck not 20 feet from where we started. So, we wrap the straps of both our large bags over the handle of the cart and I lean over them while trying to push the cart at the same time. It was real graceful as you can imagine, especially when I got stuck on the curb in the middle of traffic. Thelma leaving me behind. Awesome.

Tomorrow...the mission continues to Bangkok!!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Mission Details

Who? - Thelma and Louise, with surprise guests along the way
Where? - Kilimanjaro Christian Medical Center in Moshi, Tanzania
             - Thailand
When? - 2/27-5/21
Why? - Mainly just to get a tan
How? - Planes, trains, and automobiles

Louise and I will be updating you on our shenanigans and whereabouts of our travels.  So I beg you to please keep checking back for tidbits about our progress - and most likely for a good laugh. 

Friday, February 3, 2012

Meet the infamous Thelma and Louise

M
  • Code Name: "Thelma"
  • Eye Color: Bluish
  • Hair Color: An Ever-Changing Mystery
  • Height: 66.56555 inches
  • Weight: Um...No. Thank. You.
  • Likes: Long walks on the beach.  People who smile a lot.  Sunsets.  Puss in boots.  Air conditioning.
  • Bio: Tough lady who is willing to do whatever it takes to get what she wants. Rawwwrrr.
N
  • Code Name: "Louise"
  • Eye Color: Blue/Green
  • Hair Color: Firecracker Red
  • Height: Taller than Thelma
  • Weight:  Haha.  Yeah Right.
  • Likes: Romantic eats.  Breakfast.  Lunch.  Dinner.  Fourthmeal.  Any meal really.  Dachshunds.  Mosquito nets.
  • Bio: Ready for a good time.  Let's Paarrrrttttaaaayyyy.