Thelma and Louise Take on the World: Back in Bangkok and Plus One

Monday, May 7^th was our first day back in Bangkok. We boarded our plane early in the morning and landed in Bangkok just after 8AM. This was a special day because when we arrived in Bangkok we met up with Thelma’s friend from England, Harriet. After the reunion and tears, we hopped in the taxi and headed for our hotel, Siam Swana. We arrived too early to check-in, so we left our bags and headed out to sightsee. Our two goals: The Grand Palace and The Giant Reclining Buddha.

We arrived at the palace in no time. We were at first accosted by a man saying that the palace was closed for holiday or something rather…we of course being seasoned Thailand travelers knew better than to believe that jargon. We went through the palace gates and found the place to be the busiest tourist location we had been too yet. Anyways, we paid our 400 Baht (~$13.75) per person for entrance into the palace and passed through the gates. Once inside, we were sucked into a whirlwind of tourists and locals. The first portion is all temples and such. The most important being the Temple of the Emerald Buddha. Turns out it is not emerald, but Jade. When it was found who knows how long ago…they were confused. Moving on…we saw the Buddha and some statues and wandered around a bit migrating toward the palace. We finally make it to the palace, but to our surprise, you can’t go inside. We found the whole place to be totally not worth the entrance fee, so much for the place being a must see. Awesome.

After the palace, we made our way to the reclining Buddha. Not to our surprise, there was another man trying to convince us that the temple was closed for the time being for monks to pray. Fat chance! We got there and found it open and busy. No monks in sight. Although busy, the reclining Buddha was spectacularly beautiful and absolutely massive. Inspired by the magnificent Buddha, we made our way to the river boat and the train to go back to the hotel. The boat was packed and so was the train. There had to be something going on in town. Not only that, but there was an Indian invasion. Indian people were everywhere.

We made it to our hotel, checked in and set up some afternoon massages. They were glorious. We spent the evening at the hotel and went to bed early in preparation for our early morning trip to the floating markets.

Tuesday, May 8^th was floating market day. We left early in the morning and it was a full tour. We first arrived at a longtail boat station. We climbed in and took a ride through the canals to the market. Once we arrived at the market, we boarded a small paddle boat to tour the market. It was an interesting place where the entire market is on the water. People either sell items out of boats or from stalls that open onto the canal. It was a very busy place and a good thing to see. After, the markets, we stopped at an elephant park. Harriet and Thelma went on an elephant ride and I had the most delicious fresh coconut ice cream served in a coconut shell. Then, we headed off to a wood carving factory where we saw the beautiful wood work from around the country being made. Lastly, we stopped at another Gem World. It’s just another tourist trap where they sell gaudy jewelry to dumb tourists for what they make you believe are good prices. It was quite hilarious at the time, but we did manage to get free shots of Thai whiskey out of the deal. It was super nasty, but free none the less. Finally, after the ugly jewelry safari, we were taken back to our hotel. Again, we set up a couple amazing massages for the afternoon.

Later that evening, we went for our much anticipated dinner cruise. It was just another one of our hilarious adventures. We arrived at the riverside mall where several cruises port. While waiting, we were given flowers and stickers by fake traditionally dressed Thai women. They took pictures of each of us with the lady and then tried to sell them to us later. They do that with everything here. Anyways, we finally start to board our cruise. Hundreds of foreigners from all over the world trying to cram onto a boat all at once, not only that, but 50% of the people didn’t understand that our boat was not theirs. So there I was trying to convince a bunch of fresh off the boat Asian people that they were trying to get on the wrong boat. I would point to their stickers and say “this not your boat.” It was hopeless. Anyhow, we got on the boat and found our seats. We were on the rooftop right next to the live singer and dance floor. Oh boy!! We casted off and that’s when the fun started. Shortly after leaving port, we were instructed to get food from the buffet. We selected our foods and returned to our seats to find that none of the food was all that good. That’s when the singing started. There was a Thai male singer that was singing English songs like My Girl, Hero, Suicidal, Hound Dog, and so on. We were laughing hysterically and singing right along with him…except for the parts where he made up the words. Towards the end of the cruise, it was time for dancing. About 10 Indian men started dancing. Not individually, but together, holding hands, and close dancing with one another. No they were not gay, because they don’t believe in that, but instead…they just dance together. The hysterics just kept coming. Finally, we disembarked after the 2 hour circus on a boat. It was crazy.